Thursday, 29 July 2010

Duit Kopi

众所周知,耳熟能详,见怪不怪的duit kopi,我今天第一天见识到。或许不是第一次,但却是记忆里深刻的,因为知道贿赂是什么的缘故吧。
"Encik, I sangat ok, what you want, you tell me. Just tell me what you want," 白衣交警说,一副‘我很开通’的语气。
我不禁莞尔。收贿赂,不开价,让犯罪的人自己开。原来不是每个交警都砍人的。
"Macam ini, 10 boleh?" 司机说。
"Apa?"
身为乘客的我,不好说些什么。两人一来一往的,从十到二十。
"Macam ini, I bagi you saman seatbelt. 100 ringgit, kalau tidak, kena saman 300. Ok?"
原来可以这样,开一张不一样的罚单。但那就不是贿赂了。真让人摸不清头绪。正准备接受火辣辣的“牛肉干”时,交警却开着电单车走了。我更不解了。
想说,他可能是心虚吧?说话那么快,又不敢开价,可能良心过意不去,所以放过我们。看来,这情况不算太烂,是有希望的。
可后来听说,那警车走了,马上拦住一辆BMW。我的心沉了。
或许他根本不心虚,他只是知道,他无法从这里敲到什么钱。眼尖的发现了‘大财主’,就丢下我们,找他的财神爷去了。
我希望是自己看太多推理小说,希望他真的有被良心谴责。有时候,我没办法说些什么,这些大家当作理所当然的事,很难被一两句质问给冻结。
我只能默默地许诺,我会很有种地,把那三百块的罚单给接了。

Monday, 26 July 2010

7月27日,有感而发

1.
常常从很小的一些事情里,发现,其实内心里住着一个怎样的人。她戒心重,对人有偏见,对世界的悲观其实不算太坏,对很多事都有憧憬,孩子似的。那被关在城堡里的孩子,偶尔露出双眼睛,乌溜溜的,仿佛欲看穿全世界。有时,用鼻子嗅了嗅,想用敏锐的嗅觉,闻出事情的危险性。又偏偏,被困在城堡里,一直不停的呐喊,也只得到回音。
她用她孩子气的作风,总有自己的一套见解,对人对事,都不知怎地,充满锐角,伤人伤己。原来有着这么一个人,在挣扎着,抗议着,似乎无法明白,常规和所谓的道德。是时候被释放了。封闭的自我,无法有更旷广的体会,只会一直偏激下去,掉进死胡同里。
是小事啊,只是小事。

2.
“我们都不讲话了。以前他生病的时候,就一直跟我讲话,现在好了,就一脚把我踢开。我们一向来都没有什么讲话,结婚后也这样,生孩子后也这样。”
秘密那本书里说,一切都是吸引力法则。你想什么,就会一直看到什么。我想或许是,因为我们在想,所以注意力都放在那里,把与它有关的一切人事物,都用显微镜放大。
原来感情和婚姻是那么一回事。或许是我一直在找例子吧。一直都觉得沟通,是人与人之间唯一的联系。眼睛,是灵魂之窗。但不是每一扇窗,都能透视另一扇。往往被那刘海挡着,或者,水汪汪的,看不清。任何形式的沟通,才是王道。至少我偏执的这么认为。
我看见了,我想得到的答案。也许更应该是,我决定了要那么相信。希望能有机会看到,那么一幕。两位白发斑斑的老人,手牵着手散步。那时,我会会心一笑。

原来如此

看了Inception,有种弥留在戏里的感觉。

http://chud.com/articles/articles/24477/1/NEVER-WAKE-UP-THE-MEANING-AND-SECRET-OF-INCEPTION/Page1.html

*取自朋友的面子书。值得一看。

Thursday, 15 July 2010

迷失

有忽然不想睡的时候,就让那个忽然,持续到天明。
有很想写的时刻,就让头不停地,记下一字一句。
有想拥抱的时候,就闭上眼睛,静静地,享受被大地拥抱。
有忽然想看电影的刹那,就一直下载,直到当机为止。
想哭,想笑,想被感动,想飞翔。
抱着整盒纸巾看连戏剧,躲在房间看小说,对着电脑荧幕傻笑。
漫无目的闲逛,口没遮拦瞎扯,吃遍大街小巷。

我恍然,
我害怕,害怕错过的每一秒。
我逃避,逃避那模糊的未来。
我忘了,
我活在当下。

Friday, 2 July 2010

In Hongkong

I observe. I discover something that is new to me.
I listen. I understand more about something.
I always wonder why. Why the sky is blue and why we count from 1 to 10.
I am escaping and I do not know why.
Life is like a sine curve. After a period of time, everything will be back to zero, the stretch out origin.

Saturday, 26 June 2010

致王恺怡小姐

你叫我写中等就好。你叫我写好好来。(我觉得我再写下去,你就要生气了。)
答应过你的,我会在这里补写一个“中等”又“好好来”的。那么我写了。

从你背影
那笑靥
陌生的
我不解
那里边
住着怎样一个人

望着天花板
单人床
双人份
感觉的
不是呼吸的炽热
而是那
真诚的温暖

每个微笑里
藏着的面具
我看不透
但
我明白
你的喜怒哀乐里
是情感
是一颗容易被牵动的心


Thursday, 24 June 2010

Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt


Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Chorus (2x)
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Chorus (2x)
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Chorus (2x)
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.