Something

Searching is not the way, as things will come if they wish to and none will if there isn't any attraction towards it.

so what?

somehow i found out that i like to talk to the air, describe something like nothing, and wandering without motives.
somehow i found out that i am Pythagorean Theorem from facebook. "a^2 + b^2 = c^2 You are simple, useful and people tend to understand you."
somehow i would try hard not to let people understand what i suppose to describe well. it's all crap.
somehow i feel that feelings are not link to anything but just wild thoughts that are pouring out.
somehow i just chill but...
exam is STILL going on and it is a long way before it ends... @.@lll

其实

很想把自己封闭在一个没人的世界。做着自己都不知道是对或错的事，没有对或错的事。很多时候，我没有办法衡量事情，我的秤已经老旧，落伍，它的标准已不适用在很多事情，包括我的情绪。终于在理智的里面看见不理智，就像太极里，黑半边的白，或白半边的黑。哭笑不得。我是该庆幸，我终于有点‘人’味；抑哀悼，我已开始迷失？无语。
我在迷蒙，看不清时，却能很实在地感受到，我踩着什么，握着什么。实实在在的，却一直没发现，愚蠢的自己，原来也只能在遗失之后，才能用别的感官去发现什么。
其实，我想说声谢谢。谢谢我的荒唐，莫名其妙，和狂妄。我的原则，我的思想，其实还没有找到立足的地方。是应该保留什么？是应该放弃什么？我想，我该有个大概。谢谢地盘的主人，我很佩服你的哲理。有时候，你温暖的像太阳。^^

beyond expectation

sometimes it is good to aim low, cause you will get less disappointment. but, you will be less motivated. it's hard to find a balance for what to expect and what to aim as not every time your confidence will be equal to your ability. and it's always hard to meet others' expectation because you will never know how worse is their 'bad' and how good is their 'okay'. i am puzzled... i am glad that it's not as bad as what he said but it does not meet my own requirement. so, what shall i expect?

Orange Moon (a hidden track in the album Orange Moon) by Khalil Fong

There we sat among the thousand
fools just like us
But not so in love like us

There we spoke of all our feelings
And dreams were born like that
And we hope for love like that

Now your dreams have changed, we're far apart
I don't know when or where to start
leading you from my mind

I want to stand with you again
I hope to find you here again
in the eternal sunshine

I'll search for the orange moon
that lit up our love on the ocean
while I held your hand

Now watch all the waves from the stones
where we gazed to the golden sun

If I see the horizon
glow just the same as it did when we stood on the hill
I'll make the arrangements, just wait on that corner for me
If you drop me a line I'll be sure to make these arrangements

Lay your head upon my shoulder
I'll sing a tune or three
Sweet melodies for thee

Softly speak to say what I meant
Why do you leave
My heart is at your feet

Well I'd like to share three words again
practise these words with you again
if you think is possible
and maybe I can pull you close
whisper in your ear again that I want you in my life forever

I'll search for the orange moon
that lit up our love on the ocean
while I held your hand

Now watch all the waves from the stones
where we gazed to the golden sun

If I see the horizon
glow just the same as it did when we stood on the hill
I'll make the arrangements, just wait on that corner for me

You're like summer rain that cools me, it sooths me
You are the person that I pray for every day

Maybe we'll sit on those stairs once again
Maybe we won't turn down have to pretend
You will be here in my imaginings, they’re imaginings
I'll search for the orange moon
that lit up our love on the ocean
while I held your hand

Now watch all the waves from the stones
where we gazed to the golden sun

If I see the horizon
glow just the same as it did when we stood on the hill
I'll make the arrangements, just wait on that corner for me
If you drop me a line I'll be sure to make these arrangements
If you drop me a line I'll be sure to make these arrangements

当

当
每个人都在努力
我很懒散地 逃避
用力忘记 一切的责任

当
大家都起哄 热络地
我却想静静躲在一角
用无奈的眼神 审判别人

当
一切都沉寂
我的欲望 会渲染
似墨 沾在宣纸
散开

当
犹豫 像夜降临
无止境的黑
挑破唯一的光
摧残 崩溃

当
动摇 悸动
的瞬间
心 止如水
何谓牵动 何谓挂念

当
不知怎
渐渐 渐渐
再也看不见
我了解
是时候沉睡
用遗忘 代替一切的弦
思绪的弦

扰乱的神经······ 失调

在还来不及哀悼，为自己的失落，好好找个降落的位置时，就已失足坠入另一个时空，烦恼和无助纷至沓来。有时候，自由和选择，也让人为难。摇摆不定，不知该何去何从。
我想要的，我却不很确定。到底哪种较适合，却需要别人的认定。是我太懦弱，还是太理性，理性得步步为营。我应该知道的，却无法面对，害怕错误的决定会让人后悔，可是，却已没有办法衡量利弊。要或不要很多时候，都是一念之差。那么，我的勇气呢？它又躲在哪一个角落？
有时候，太多的选择，让人懊恼、犹豫。大多时候，无能为力只能勇闯直路时，虽然无奈，却很有魄力，因为那是最后的赌注。
好想看到此路不通，却又希望能做自己想要的。干嘛？我在干嘛？我到底在干嘛？
在找到平衡点之前，我想，我无法妥协。